Well, I am not a smart woman, I know you are all shocked by that. But ... I made a grave mistake.
I am in dire need of a swim suit that fits. It just so happens that I have recently lost a few pounds ... mostly from above the waist! My last swim suit was purchased right after Gage was born 4 years ago. Since then it has been through my pregnancy with McCall - not a smart idea to wear your swim suit while pregnant, things tend to get stretched out and not even the best suit recovers from that.
So I mustered up all my bravery, swallowed my pride, put on my rose colored glasses and ventured out to pick up a swim suit.
Mistake #1 - took 4 children with me, but not a lot of options here as Ryan is gone a lot and it had to be done!
Mistake #2 - had Gage with me! Probably enough said!
Mistake #3 - took Gage with me into the change rooms
Mistake #4 - neglected to duct tape Gage's mouth closed.
The older boys were fine to sit right out side my change room door where I could hear them and still feel safe that they were there. I know Gage too well, so he had to come into the change room to make sure he would still be accompanying me home. I figured he would be busy with his sister during my humiliating ordeal.
He felt very free to offer his opinions and comments in his very loud sing songy voice. I am pretty sure the women in the adjoining change rooms had to excuse themselves to the restrooms after peeing their pants and laughing at the little boy next door mocking his mother in all her glory.
Apparently I look like a very old naked grandma. Not sure where he has seen one, but he probably made a pretty accurate comparison.
Needless to say, the suit was NOT purchased.